I never thought that my fiancé, Stan, would put down my job as a stylist because of it. But his insults and comparisons to his schooling at an Ivy League school got old for me.
As a child, I worked hard to take care of my family after my dad left us. I began as an assistant in a studio and worked my way up to become a well-known stylist. Stan’s subtle jabs and negative statements about my job hurt.
Stan said, “Don’t bother asking her; she’s just a hairdresser,” at a dinner with his law school friends one night. It hit him hard. It was hard for me to stay calm, but I did.
It hit me at that moment that our relationship needed a wake-up call. Stan’s dislike of my work was a sign of a bigger problem. I was wondering if we would get along.
I planned a dinner with my clients, who are powerful women, artists, and business owners, so Stan would understand. Stan’s ideas fell apart as they told stories about how my work helped them as artists and as people looking for jobs.
The icing on the cake was when his boss, Mrs. Williams, praised my skills. Stan was shocked at first, but then he felt embarrassed when I introduced him as my fiancé, Stan. A little scared around strong women.
Stan was just as mad and embarrassed as I was at dinner the night before. “This is how it feels to be put down,” I said.
A few days later, Stan said he was sorry very much. Even though I was serious, I knew I couldn’t keep us engaged. I gave him back his diamond ring and suggested that we start over.
I learned that I should expect respect from everyone, especially the people I care about the most. It can be very helpful to teach someone a lesson by making them experience what they’re doing.
