For years, my mother treated my love life like a military operation—complete with background checks and interrogation tactics. So when I started dating Theo, I kept it quiet.
Big mistake.
She found out. She broke into my apartment. She hid in my closet during our first dinner.
The interrogation was brutal. (“Do you drink?” “How many exes?”) The sponge test was absurd. (“No streaks or you’re out.”) And the handwritten RULES list (with “daughter” misspelled) was the final straw.
Theo left. I thought I’d lost him.
But then he came back—with flowers and a plan. “We’re taking your mom on a date.”
What followed was the most chaotic, hilarious, and unexpectedly sweet day of our lives. She fell into a lake. She climbed a wall. She almost admitted she liked him.
And when he proposed? She didn’t just say yes for me—she said it first.
