Neal McDonough, the acclaimed actor known for his roles in Band of Brothers and Desperate Housewives, has a rule that makes him unique in Hollywood: he refuses to kiss anyone on screen except his wife, Ruve Robertson. This steadfast commitment to his marriage has shaped his career and earned him admiration for his integrity.
McDonough, 58, has been married to Ruve since 2003, and the couple shares five children. His dedication to his wife is so profound that he has turned down roles requiring romantic scenes, even when it meant losing significant opportunities. One of the most notable examples was in 2010 when he was reportedly let go from the ABC series Scoundrels for refusing to perform intimate scenes with co-star Virginia Madsen. The decision cost him an estimated $1 million and led to a difficult period in his career.
Recalling that time, McDonough described it as “horrible.” He faced criticism and was even labeled a religious fanatic by some in the industry. “Right after that, I couldn’t get a job because everyone thought I was a religious fanatic. I’m very devout, but I put God and my family first before myself,” he explained. Despite the challenges, McDonough remained unwavering in his principles, choosing to stay true to his values rather than compromise for career advancement.
His resilience eventually paid off. When he joined the cast of Desperate Housewives as the husband of Nicollette Sheridan’s character, he made it clear to show creator Marc Cherry that he wouldn’t participate in any kissing scenes. Cherry respected McDonough’s decision and found creative ways to work around it. “All right, I’m just going to have to write better to make it happen,” Cherry said. This approach allowed McDonough to continue his work without compromising his beliefs.
McDonough’s love story with Ruve is as remarkable as his professional journey. The couple met by chance on St. Patrick’s Day in 2001 when they locked eyes on a London street. McDonough knew instantly that Ruve was the woman he would marry. “The next morning, I called the woman I was dating at the time and said, ‘I’m sorry, it’s not going to work out with us anymore—I just met the woman I’m going to marry,’” he recalled. Their marriage has been a source of strength and inspiration for McDonough ever since.
Despite the challenges he’s faced in Hollywood, McDonough’s career has continued to thrive. He’s taken on diverse roles in projects like the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Yellowstone, and Justified, earning respect from both peers and fans. His commitment to his craft and his values has made him a standout figure in the industry.
There was even a time when McDonough considered leaving acting altogether. Before landing his breakthrough role in Band of Brothers, he was ready to quit Hollywood and help his parents run their motel. But fate had other plans. “I was about to say goodbye to Hollywood when I got a call from Steven Spielberg. He wanted to see me for Band of Brothers, and everything took off from there,” he shared.
Neal McDonough’s story is a testament to the power of staying true to oneself. While his no-kissing rule has cost him roles, it has also shaped a career he can be proud of—one built on integrity, faith, and love. By putting his family and values first, McDonough continues to succeed on his own terms, proving that staying true to your principles is its own kind of victory.
