Dave sat across from Tom at lunch, shaking his head in frustration. “I just don’t get it,” he sighed. “I thought when my wife was quiet, everything was fine. Turns out, she was mad at me. And when I told her that her dress looked amazing, she somehow took it as me calling her fat.”
Tom chuckled. “Sounds like a tough week.”
“Tough? More like impossible!” Dave groaned. “Do I need psychic powers to understand her mood?”
Tom grinned. “Nope, you just need a mood ring.”
Dave frowned. “You’re joking.”
“Oh, I’m serious,” Tom said. “When she’s happy, the ring turns blue. When she’s angry, I end up with a red mark on my forehead.”
At a café, three friends were reminiscing about their marriages.
“When did you first truly understand your husband?” Sarah asked.
Linda smiled. “On our first date. He spilled his drink all over himself and just laughed it off. That’s when I knew he was the one.”
Diane nodded. “For me, it was when he proposed. He cooked dinner, burned every dish, but tried so hard. It was adorable.”
They turned to Jane, who twirled her straw in her drink with a smirk.
“What about you?” Linda asked.
Jane sighed. “Unfortunately, about two weeks after the wedding.”
The group burst out laughing. Diane grinned. “Better late than never, right?”
Jane lifted her glass. “Sure. Though, if I’d known back then what I know now, I would’ve asked for a return policy.”
Brian was scrolling through his phone when he muttered, “Wow.”
His friend Kevin looked up. “What’s up?”
“Apparently, 5,276,482 people got married last year.”
Kevin nodded. “That’s a lot of weddings.”
They both went back to their phones before Kevin suddenly frowned. “Wait… shouldn’t that be an even number?”
Brian smirked. “Maybe someone backed out halfway down the aisle.”
Don and his friend were catching up over coffee.
“The grandkids came over this weekend,” Don said.
“Oh, fun! How was it?”
“Not great at first. Marian corrected everything I did—too much sugar, too much noise, too dangerous. By Saturday night, I felt like I couldn’t do anything right.”
His friend chuckled. “So, how did you survive the rest of the weekend?”
Don grinned. “Actually, it turned out to be the most peaceful weekend I’ve had in years.”
His friend raised an eyebrow. “Really? How?”
“Well, Sunday night, she asked me to pass her lipstick. I accidentally gave her a glue stick instead.”
His friend burst out laughing as Don leaned back in his chair. “Haven’t heard a word since.”
