Since my split five years ago, my life has been a process of finding out more about myself. Ben, my ex-husband, and I are still friendly and work together to raise our two kids. Lisa, his new lover, recently got in touch and asked why Ben forgets important dates.
I didn’t mind that Ben forgot things when we were married. I took care of his parties and events because that’s just how he is. When Lisa asked what to do, I had confused feelings: should I warn her, teach Ben, or stay neutral?
After months, Ben called, angry that they broke up. Lisa’s focus on birthdays and anniversaries made it impossible to stay together. I saw that how I talked to Lisa affected their breakup.
The truth came out at the end of our conversation: Ben’s refusal to change was the reason we split up. I felt bad, but I knew Lisa deserved to have someone notice how hard she worked.
When I ran into Lisa, I could feel her anger and sadness. She deserved for someone to feel the same way about her. Our meeting brought peace and showed how much I’ve changed since my split.
Even though I knew Ben had flaws, I knew I deserved more. Lisa’s problem was a lot like the ones I’ve had in the past. Some people find it hard to change, but don’t give up.
It brought me peace to accept my life’s path. Lisa will be happy, and I’m happy with my life. Not about parties or events, but about meeting someone who cares about you.
It’s important to me that my kids bring me love and happiness. Ben will learn to value the important things in life. The kids, friends, and peace of mind make me happy for now.
