My daughter-in-law (DIL) and I had a tough time talking about watching her three kids. Two of them are from her first marriage, and one is with my son. And she asked me to watch all three. I agreed to watch my grandson but asked for money to watch the other two. The next morning, I was locked out of her house because she said I was mean to her kids.
I tried to make it clear that my choice wasn’t based on favoritism—I love all three kids—but on my limits as a retired person. It’s hard to take care of three kids at once, so I offered to watch my grandson and asked for money for all three. There is now a lot of stress, and my son is stuck in the middle.
I feel guilty about the stress it caused and know how important it is for limits to be honoured. I’m looking for advice: “How can I deal with this sensitive matter without making things worse?”