As a mom, it’s normal to feel uncomfortable when your kid shows you to their new partner. But that unease turned into full-blown fear for me when my son Xavier introduced me to Danielle, the woman he is going to marry. I was interested in her not only because she was shy but also because of her beautiful face. A face I knew from a picture that was going around among my family and friends.
The picture was of a woman who was accused of ripping off several people, including the son of a friend. To get him to buy her an expensive engagement ring, she tricked him and stole thousands of dollars from him. I remembered the picture very well, and as soon as I saw Danielle’s face, I knew I had to move quickly.
As we ate dinner, I tried to stay calm, but my mind was full of ideas for how to keep my son safe. I left and asked Danielle to help me choose a wine from the basement. I locked the door behind her as soon as we were alone and ran back upstairs to call the cops.
As soon as the cops showed up, the next few minutes went by quickly. They told me that Danielle was not the con artist I thought she was. It turned out that she had been tricked, and the real con artist was still on the run.
As I told Danielle I was sorry, I couldn’t help but feel a range of feelings, including relief, shame, and gratitude. I felt relieved that my son was safe, guilty for jumping to conclusions, and thankful that Danielle understood and forgave me.
We went to dinner again, but this time we were more grateful and respectful. That’s when I understood that our instincts don’t always lead us in the right direction. The important thing is how we learn from our mistakes. And as I watched my son and Danielle joke around and laugh together, I knew I had learned something important about trust, acceptance, and getting to know someone before judging them.
