I wanted to be free when I was 17, but my mother’s constant worry was making it impossible for me to breathe. I didn’t know why she was always judging me and asking me about everything I did. I didn’t understand her behaviour wasn’t meant to control me until I learnt a shocking truth. She was getting me ready for a future without her.
Because I was angry about being grounded for being late home, I chose to sneak into my mom’s storage unit to get my car. But what I saw there took my breath away. There were dozens of gift-wrapped boxes in the unit, and each one was marked with a different date and event. For my 18th birthday, graduation, first job, wedding, and even the birth of my children, there were boxes.
There was a beautiful brown leather jacket inside the box that said “18th birthday.” I had been wanting it for months. The letters that came with each gift, though, were what really broke my heart. I got them from my mom. In them, she wrote about her love, advice, and hopes for my future.
That’s when I realised my mom’s constant worrying and asking wasn’t meant to control me, but to get me ready for a time when I wouldn’t have her around. She knew she wouldn’t be able to see me grow up and go through all the important events in my life because she was sick.
I felt a lot of different things over the next few months as I tried to come to terms with my mother’s sickness. But once I realised what was really going on, I made an effort to spend more time with her, enjoy every moment, and make her happy.
We cooked, watched old films and looked through picture albums all day. Mom showed me old home movies I had never seen before and told me stories about her childhood. She also taught me how to make her famous lasagna.
Our relationship got stronger over time. I learnt to value my mom’s unfailing love and support. It dawned on me that her constant worrying and questioning were meant to keep me safe and get me ready for life’s obstacles.
One of the worst days of my life was the day my mother died. But she kept teaching me important things about love, family, and how to enjoy every moment, even after she died.
I feel thankful and amazed when I think about the last few months I spent with my mother. There was more to her love than just how she felt. She chose to love every day. She decided to care about me and get ready for a life without her, putting my needs ahead of her own.
I’m reminded of how important it is to enjoy every moment with our loved ones as I get used to living without my mother. Hold on tight to your moms, love and support them no matter what, and never forget how special they are.
The love, memories, and time we spend with our loved ones are what matter most, not the things we own or the things we’ve accomplished. That’s something my mum taught me, and I will always remember it.
