Adam and I were about to get married in a few weeks when my parents made a shocking finding that changed everything.
When Adam came to meet my extended family, he found out a secret that really shocked him. In fact, my parents’ marriage was not the norm because they were able to see other people.
Adam’s response was strong and quick. He felt lied to by both my parents and me because I kept this secret from him.
As I thought back on my childhood, I remembered the night I learned about how my parents lived. When I was 16, my friends came over to sleep over. At that moment, I saw my parents making out with another couple.
When I asked my parents about their agreement, they told me it was based on love and devotion to each other, and they gave each other the freedom to make connections with other people.
But Adam found it hard to understand. His parents’ split, which was caused by his mother cheating on him, hurt him deeply.
His words, “I see red flags everywhere,” were honest.
I was shocked when Adam wasn’t sure if we were going to get married. We chose to move to my grandmother’s house so that we could get our feelings out.
“I’ve never kept a secret from you,” I told Adam. I had a hard time understanding how my parents lived.
Adam needed some time. We agreed to go to therapy to talk about his pain and figure out how we felt about it.
We’re now talking about everything, including my shame, our future, and his worries.
I’ve learned from this that love means accepting the complicated and facing the hard facts. Can this discovery help our relationship?”
