I put up with my mother-in-law’s condescending and passive-aggressive comments for years because I thought it would be easier to avoid a fight.
When she went too far with a mean birthday “gift,” though, I chose to stand my ground. I thought of a sneaky but effective way to get back at her that made her look stupid and ashamed.
Her behaviour was getting worse, and I realised that avoiding talking to her about it made things worse.
She made it clear that she didn’t want me around her son, in part because I brought a child from a past relationship into our marriage. She kept comparing me to Laura, her coworker, because she thought Laura would be a better fit for her son.
She did too much for my birthday, though. She gave me an awful dress that was too big on me, made a snide comment about how much I weighed, and hinted that my husband would leave me. Though it made me feel bad, I wouldn’t let her enjoy seeing me upset.
I chose to teach her a lesson after that. I gave her a gift card to a fancy restaurant, but it didn’t have any money on it. I knew it was the right time to give it to her, and when she called to thank me, I could feel her giddy. She was very angry when she saw that the card was empty.
I tried to act like I was sorry for the “mistake,” but she knew I did it on purpose. She made threats, but I stayed cool because I knew I was finally going to stand up to her. I saw a change in her behaviour over the next few days. She spoke less sarcastically and became quieter. She even said sorry, which had never happened before.
Knowing I didn’t have to put up with her abuse any longer made me feel relieved and strong. She seemed to have learnt from the fact that I wouldn’t let her pick on me. But I was ready to do something else if she hadn’t. I was ready to use my voice now that I had found it.
