As a business lawyer and a loving mum, Amber, I’ve always tried to keep my personal and work lives in balance. But when my mom’s health started to get worse, I felt like I couldn’t handle all of my tasks. My husband Jack offered to help. He took care of our seven-year-old daughter Mia and did jobs around the house.
Even though Jack tried to help, I couldn’t get rid of the guilt and feeling of not being good enough. I wasn’t really a part of Mia’s life, and that fact was killing me. I had no idea that Mia was having a hard time with my departure and that the way she talked about how she felt would change everything.
As I cleaned up Mia’s room one night, I came across a picture that broke my heart. There was no sign of me in the picture of a happy family. Clara, Mia’s teacher, was standing in my place and wearing a long wedding dress. “I can’t wait for you to be my mum!” was written under the picture.
Worst-case scenarios were going through my head like crazy. Was Jack seeing someone else? What was Clara doing that was wrong? When I challenged Jack and asked for answers, he gave me a revelation that would change the way I see things forever.
Jack told me Mia had been drawing pictures of Clara as her mother, and he had told her to hide them because he didn’t want to hurt me. But it wasn’t about Jack or Clara. It was about Mia’s need for attention and her feeling of being left out.
I had been so worried about my own problems that I had forgotten about Mia’s needs until I sat down with her. I told her I was sorry I wasn’t there and promised to spend more time with her. Every week, we had “Mom and Mia” nights where we did things she liked, and our relationship slowly got better.
I also had a heart-to-heart with Clara and thanked her for being Mia’s safe place and a great teacher. I told her that Mia’s drawings were not her fault but rather a sign of how bad I was as a mother.
I see now that life has a lot of changes and turns that I did not expect. But what really counts is how we deal with those problems. I’ve learnt to ask for help, put my daughter’s needs first, and enjoy the time we spend together. I know that our bond is stronger than ever as I sit next to Mia and watch her draw new pictures. That’s all that counts.
